I sat on the couch in the playroom, watching my young daughter. She was basically begging me to play with her, but I couldn't. I felt so weak and tired. It had been the most challenging couple of months I had ever experienced. I totaled my car in January and then had a miscarriage in March. I was physically and mentally drained and felt guilty about it all. I still had this beautiful little girl, who was a huge blessing. I felt I should cherish her and not miss a moment of her being little, but I could not find the strength to get off the couch and play. In the Bible, Samson was known as the strongest man, yet in many instances, he relied on his strength and, therefore, was weak. I realized I fail when I try to rely on my strength to rise above troubles and hardships. As my husband and I continue to try for our rainbow baby,  I'll remember to rely on God's strength, whether His will is for us to raise more children or not. God is strong despite my nerves, fears, and weaknesses. 

Matthew 6:30-34 states, "If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will He not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first His kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

How can we practice this? How can we commit to entrusting God with our fears and worries? Philippians 4:6-7 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." 

God wants to be our strength regardless of what we go through. We can always depend on Him. He will hold us through it all.